We received amazing news last week.
Sharon emailed to tell us that an Ethiopian through our agency had gone to the court in Addis and advocated on our behalf. Basically, this angel appeared before a judge, explained about the passing of Tigist, and all that our family has endured. And miraculously - the judge listened and his/her heart was softened. As far as CHI knows, this has never happened before.
We have a court date for April 16th. Once Abeni passes court, she officially becomes Abeni Joy Kuba. She is OURS!!!!
At that point, most likely our visa approval date will be May 14th. This is the date that we appear in court in Addis with Abeni.
Our plan is to leave on May 10th - Mother's Day.
We will be in Ethiopia for the week, returning on May 18th.
Bella will be staying with my parents in the Bay Area - so all of our local "family" there, this is where that whole "it takes a village" thing might kick in! :) My mom might need some help!!!
Of course, as with everything in International Adoption, things can change.
But for once - I have total peace. I am content. I am riding a wave of joy.
I believe Abeni will pass court on the 16th of April. I believe we will receive visa approval on the 14th of May. I believe that in about 6 weeks, my family will be together and complete.
I am looking ahead with my eyes open wide, my arms outstretched, and my hair blowing in a soft, beautiful breeze.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Good News, Again
We heard from Sharon this morning.
We received a referral for a beautiful six week old baby girl. The name she was given is "Yordanes" which means "Jordan River".
She, too, was abandoned to the same orphanage as Tigist. The GREAT NEWS is that she is already at the Transition House run by our orphanage. Yeah!
So, we are reservedly excited.
We received a referral for a beautiful six week old baby girl. The name she was given is "Yordanes" which means "Jordan River".
She, too, was abandoned to the same orphanage as Tigist. The GREAT NEWS is that she is already at the Transition House run by our orphanage. Yeah!
So, we are reservedly excited.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Overwhelming Grief
On Tuesday, February 16th, Sharon at CHI called to give us the horrific news.
Our baby girl had passed away on Valentine's Day from sepsis. There was nothing they could do. This is the first time this has happened to CHI's Ethiopia team.
I have to say I have not felt such deep, soul-wrenching grief since Bella was diagnosed at one week old with her Congenital Nephrotic Syndrome.
Even as I write this, almost a week later, I cannot stop the tears from flowing. It is hard to describe, but from the moment I saw Tigist's photo, I was her Mama.
As simple and profound as that.
But grief is not all I have felt, I have also felt quite angry. When we signed a contract with CHI, we were told we did not have to redo our dossier or home study, and yet, that was exactly what we had to do which set us back four more months. We were referred the wrong baby at Christmas time. And now this. I am fully aware that these setbacks were not intentional in any way, but I do wish that CHI would just take some responsibility for their part in it all.
As a result of Tigist's death, we also lost our court date. We will receive another referral in the next week or two, but then again, will have to wait yet another month for a court date.
Very discouraging, to say the least.
So what does one do with despair? Well, you lean into it when needed, and lean out of it with a lot of willpower. I spend a lot of time talking to God, screaming, wailing, all of it. Martin and I are spending a lot of time hugging each other, hugging our daughter, sharing this journey together.
This week at our home group we are going to have a little memorial service for Tigist. We are creating a little memory box for her which will include her death certificate and the address where she is buried. We hope to visit it when we are in Ethiopia this spring. I also continue to pray for her biological mom who abandoned her as I cannot imagine that would be easy for ANY mom to do.
As you may have noticed, we are referring to our baby girl in heaven as Tigist. That was her legal name. Had we appeared before the court, her name would have been changed to Abeni. We are reserving the right to give the daughter we actually do bring home this name and want to honor Tigist for who she is, where she lived and died.
And now we pray for strength. Strength to mourn and somehow, by God's grace, still be able to celebrate that new referral when it arrive. To somehow, by God's grace, be able to embrace this new baby girl as our daughter. That is just something that is supernatural.
As simple and profound as that.
Our baby girl had passed away on Valentine's Day from sepsis. There was nothing they could do. This is the first time this has happened to CHI's Ethiopia team.
I have to say I have not felt such deep, soul-wrenching grief since Bella was diagnosed at one week old with her Congenital Nephrotic Syndrome.
Even as I write this, almost a week later, I cannot stop the tears from flowing. It is hard to describe, but from the moment I saw Tigist's photo, I was her Mama.
As simple and profound as that.
But grief is not all I have felt, I have also felt quite angry. When we signed a contract with CHI, we were told we did not have to redo our dossier or home study, and yet, that was exactly what we had to do which set us back four more months. We were referred the wrong baby at Christmas time. And now this. I am fully aware that these setbacks were not intentional in any way, but I do wish that CHI would just take some responsibility for their part in it all.
As a result of Tigist's death, we also lost our court date. We will receive another referral in the next week or two, but then again, will have to wait yet another month for a court date.
Very discouraging, to say the least.
So what does one do with despair? Well, you lean into it when needed, and lean out of it with a lot of willpower. I spend a lot of time talking to God, screaming, wailing, all of it. Martin and I are spending a lot of time hugging each other, hugging our daughter, sharing this journey together.
This week at our home group we are going to have a little memorial service for Tigist. We are creating a little memory box for her which will include her death certificate and the address where she is buried. We hope to visit it when we are in Ethiopia this spring. I also continue to pray for her biological mom who abandoned her as I cannot imagine that would be easy for ANY mom to do.
As you may have noticed, we are referring to our baby girl in heaven as Tigist. That was her legal name. Had we appeared before the court, her name would have been changed to Abeni. We are reserving the right to give the daughter we actually do bring home this name and want to honor Tigist for who she is, where she lived and died.
And now we pray for strength. Strength to mourn and somehow, by God's grace, still be able to celebrate that new referral when it arrive. To somehow, by God's grace, be able to embrace this new baby girl as our daughter. That is just something that is supernatural.
As simple and profound as that.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Oh Happy DAY!
Oh my GOODNESS!
It is absolutely surreal that I am writing this.
This morning, we got the call..."Are you guys sitting down?"
And then it happened.
We are now the proud parents of a 3-week-old baby girl. I am not allowed to give too many details, but I think she is absolutely beautiful. Her name is
Abeni Joy Kuba. Abeni is an African name which means "prayed for and received". Perfect, huh? :)
It looks like we will go to Ethiopia sometime in May.
What more can I say?
Thank you, Jesus!
It finally happened.
It is absolutely surreal that I am writing this.
This morning, we got the call..."Are you guys sitting down?"
And then it happened.
We are now the proud parents of a 3-week-old baby girl. I am not allowed to give too many details, but I think she is absolutely beautiful. Her name is
Abeni Joy Kuba. Abeni is an African name which means "prayed for and received". Perfect, huh? :)
It looks like we will go to Ethiopia sometime in May.
What more can I say?
Thank you, Jesus!
It finally happened.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Will There Ever be Good News?
Yesterday we received MORE bad news on the adoption. A few months ago, the wait time between receiving one's referral (getting the call that you have been matched with a child) and traveling to Ethiopia to be there for your court date was about 5 to 6 weeks. We were told yesterday that the wait time between referral and court date has jumped to 4 to 5 MONTHS! Are you kidding me!?!?!?
Honestly, I cannot help but feel bitter right now. I understand that there is nothing our agency can do...there are only two judges within Ethiopia that deal with International adoptions, and the number of parents applying has tripled. However, if we had not run into the rotten luck of two separate bad agency workers, we would have our daughter by now.
And yes, still NO referral. We got a call over the holidays, but it was a referral for the wrong child. They had not read nor updated our file.
Yes, I am well aware of God's perfect timing. I have personally experienced it through a miscarriage, a very sick daughter, infertility, a near death experience myself, you name it. But I firmly believe that I can be fed up, sick and tired of waiting, angry, disappointed, discouraged, sad, grieving, and still know the power of my God and the Hope I have in Him.
The God I know is like a prism. He is not one dimensional. When I look to Him, what I see - what He reveals to me - will look very different than the next person. That is not because He is ever-changing, it is because I am. So, amidst all these emotions and amidst this rocky, bumpy trail of life I experience, I will bring all I am, all I am feeling, to Him and dump it. :) And then let Him do His transformational thing in me.
Lately, it seems Christians are being attacked for being cold-hearted, close-minded, out of touch with reality, judgmental. I invite these very critics to come over and stay at MY home for a week and meet the amazing people in MY life. They just might be surprised.
Honestly, I cannot help but feel bitter right now. I understand that there is nothing our agency can do...there are only two judges within Ethiopia that deal with International adoptions, and the number of parents applying has tripled. However, if we had not run into the rotten luck of two separate bad agency workers, we would have our daughter by now.
And yes, still NO referral. We got a call over the holidays, but it was a referral for the wrong child. They had not read nor updated our file.
Yes, I am well aware of God's perfect timing. I have personally experienced it through a miscarriage, a very sick daughter, infertility, a near death experience myself, you name it. But I firmly believe that I can be fed up, sick and tired of waiting, angry, disappointed, discouraged, sad, grieving, and still know the power of my God and the Hope I have in Him.
The God I know is like a prism. He is not one dimensional. When I look to Him, what I see - what He reveals to me - will look very different than the next person. That is not because He is ever-changing, it is because I am. So, amidst all these emotions and amidst this rocky, bumpy trail of life I experience, I will bring all I am, all I am feeling, to Him and dump it. :) And then let Him do His transformational thing in me.
Lately, it seems Christians are being attacked for being cold-hearted, close-minded, out of touch with reality, judgmental. I invite these very critics to come over and stay at MY home for a week and meet the amazing people in MY life. They just might be surprised.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Referral...
So, this morning we woke up to a call from CHI. Sharon told me to sit down. Man, my heart was RACING and I felt dizzy. She proceeded to tell us they had a 7 week old baby boy for us.
Wait. What? Oh no.
It turns out our social worker never indicated gender on our home study, thus, they called us with the first baby that met our criterion.
Now, some of you are probably thrilled to hear this and may be shocked to hear that we turned down this referral.
Wait. What? Why?
I am not sure I can explain it in a way that will make sense. All I can say is that both Martin and I were in agreement this morning that we have felt God's absolute confirmation over and over again that Abeni Joy will be our daughter. I am not sure how else to explain it. It's a God thing.
But let me tell you why this phone call brings us great joy. It means we are CLOSE. We are very, very close. Also, Martin said when the call came in this morning, his hear was leaping for joy, as was mine.
I have to say, as of last week after receiving some news that there are huge delays in Ethiopian adoptions and court dates, Martin and I were about 75% sure we were going to give up this whole adoption thing. If for no other reason, this phone call was God's way of saying to us: "Oh no you don't!!". We know that we are not done with this adoption journey - even though the waiting is nearly killing us.
As we head into Christmas, I am really clinging to Mary and how she must have felt as a mother. Her motherhood must have looked NOTHING like she anticipated for her life -pregnant and not yet married, having a baby in a stable, giving birth to God's son, being hunted down by Herod, knowing that this son was hers and yet not, having to give him up and watch him die on the cross.
And yet, never once do you hear of Mary complaining or being anything other than overjoyed knowing that her son is the world's Savior.
Pretty amazing.
Merry Christmas!
Wait. What? Oh no.
It turns out our social worker never indicated gender on our home study, thus, they called us with the first baby that met our criterion.
Now, some of you are probably thrilled to hear this and may be shocked to hear that we turned down this referral.
Wait. What? Why?
I am not sure I can explain it in a way that will make sense. All I can say is that both Martin and I were in agreement this morning that we have felt God's absolute confirmation over and over again that Abeni Joy will be our daughter. I am not sure how else to explain it. It's a God thing.
But let me tell you why this phone call brings us great joy. It means we are CLOSE. We are very, very close. Also, Martin said when the call came in this morning, his hear was leaping for joy, as was mine.
I have to say, as of last week after receiving some news that there are huge delays in Ethiopian adoptions and court dates, Martin and I were about 75% sure we were going to give up this whole adoption thing. If for no other reason, this phone call was God's way of saying to us: "Oh no you don't!!". We know that we are not done with this adoption journey - even though the waiting is nearly killing us.
As we head into Christmas, I am really clinging to Mary and how she must have felt as a mother. Her motherhood must have looked NOTHING like she anticipated for her life -pregnant and not yet married, having a baby in a stable, giving birth to God's son, being hunted down by Herod, knowing that this son was hers and yet not, having to give him up and watch him die on the cross.
And yet, never once do you hear of Mary complaining or being anything other than overjoyed knowing that her son is the world's Savior.
Pretty amazing.
Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
So....where to begin, where to begin. Well, we are now #11 on the list. And as CHI closes for TWO WEEKS for Christmas, it does not look like a referral could possibly happen until the end of January, which means no travel to get a baby until March.
So, Martin and I are taking some time to rethink things. We are devastated, grieving, and really do not understand why it has taken over 8 years to try and grow a family. We have experienced so much.
We know in life that at some point, every person carries a burden with them. Ours may be that we cannot have any more children.
It may be hard for most people to understand why we would not just push through - and not to be rude, but I think if you have not been down a similar road, it is hard to understand.
But for now, we are going to concentrate on enjoying Christmas, maybe have some tough conversations with God along the way, but we are certainly looking forward to celebrating the birth of Christ.
So, Martin and I are taking some time to rethink things. We are devastated, grieving, and really do not understand why it has taken over 8 years to try and grow a family. We have experienced so much.
We know in life that at some point, every person carries a burden with them. Ours may be that we cannot have any more children.
It may be hard for most people to understand why we would not just push through - and not to be rude, but I think if you have not been down a similar road, it is hard to understand.
But for now, we are going to concentrate on enjoying Christmas, maybe have some tough conversations with God along the way, but we are certainly looking forward to celebrating the birth of Christ.
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