Friday, May 8, 2009

Freedom of Speech

I left a yahoo group today that was tied with our adoption agency. It was sad for me. There are a few wonderful people there. But it was an integrity thing for me. I do not believe in this whole concept that exists that it is okay to attack people all in the name of "venting". I do not believe that it is okay to use a site to attack the very agency that is helping you grow your family - that you CHOSE from a myriad of options. Of course no agency, no person is perfect - and we all are prone to making mistakes. It just seems to me there are better venues for this - personal blogspots for one! :)

One person commented that all commentary is allowed under our right of Freedom of Speech. I have to say I really hate this reasoning - in pretty much any instance - not just this one. It seems like we are so ingrained in our "freedoms" that we have totally set aside our responsibility to be ethical and show integrity in how we interact with others. Is it really becoming that counter-intuitive to consider others before typing/speaking? And how is it that we were being told we are allowed to "vent" under our freedom of speech but need to be wary of talking or referring to our faith too much in our comments as it could be offensive to those who may not believe the same things? How does one wrap his/her brain around that dichotomy??!! And our adoptive agency is blatantly Christian?!?! :)

I know this is something I am really working on - I get pretty tied up in it on this dang computer and maybe that is why I needed to leave the group. It was just too toxic for me and the person I am trying to become and WHOM I am trying to become more like.

I was excited to get on this site and share our joy of getting to go and pick up Abeni. For the past year, I have been on that site and genuinely been SO excited for every family as they got a referral, passed court, got their Embassy date.

And if a place is needed to vent, so be it. I am choosing to vent with my husband and close friends...not a public adoptive site. No thank you - freedom of speech or not.


Brad and Fran Hoagland said...

AMEN! I agree 100%. I did not like it one bit either. And I am glad Toni said what she said. I love Toni and CHI. They are the best. Now, because some other agency messed up with abandoned children really not being abandoned, all abandoned babies in Addis will not have a court date. No integrity there. Now they have ruined court for so many. Who knows when it will be resolved.

Brad and Fran Hoagland said...

Sorry, by the way! Have a wonderful trip. Hug all the baby girls there and youre sure to hug mine! Thanks!

Saxon and Shannon said...

I was thinking EXACTLY the same thing today. If someone is having a problem, discuss it privately! I feel very protective of CHI and I'm grateful to be on this journey with an ethical agency. Bashing in the name of venting is a POOR excuse! Good for you for holding to your values!

Saxon and Shannon said...

And one other thing...HAVE A GREAT TRIP!! :)

CKuba said...

Thanks to both of you. I felt awful about leaving but I felt like it has been getting progressively more and more this way. I feel horrible about those families, however, who were so excited to hear about their court date today. My heart and prayers go out to them.

Stephanie Krause said...

Thumbs up. Way to take a step toward the person you desire (and God has called) you to be! Sometimes those steps are difficult, but necessary for the growth God desires to give us!